It's seems marriage is not taken seriously these days and a time. I mean folks who do get married find out the hard way what marriage is really about. For some, it's proving to do the right thing and not living in sin and for others, it's show off on day that is supposed to be shared with family and friends. I have notice the divorce rate is up due to individuals discovering the person they thought they were so in love with is nothing like they expected after the vows. I love my husband-to-be but I used my parents as my blueprint. Yes, we argue but if a couple don't have some disagreements then something is terribly wrong. Plus, I do suggest to people to live with each other only if you two are engaged to be married. That's a mistake some couples don't do and after the vows are exchanged and the newly wed life begins, one or both individuals find out about a annoying habit that was probably always there but they thought it would pass. Marriage is about team work on both ends and no, it not about bank accounts either. That's something folks don't seem to get about marriage, it's a partnership of love regardless.

Another thing that my generation seem to be doing is moving in with a significant other but with no type of long term commitment. Yeah, "Shacking Up" as old school parents like to say including mine. I was always and still is alittle nervous about the situations that comes up with that term. My generation think it's cool and in, where I was always cynical about it. See, I feel when two people decides to live together without any type of security, it's a catch twenty-two. When a disagreement pops up where do the other person go? I do admit when I was dating my fiancee, we did not live together for the first two and half years. I like the fact I could go back to my place and he could back to his. We were not up under each other. We still have it like that even though we live together and we work different schedules, which is fine. But, we are getting married so we know each other's habits.

Lastly, the thing that make some couples go bust is the subject of children. This is something I've learned to ask at the beginning of the relationship because some folks might want children and some might not feel children is essential in their life. Some couples wait till marriage to discuss children and the time line they want to form when it comes to having children. Now, folks are getting focus on their careers and children are not in their agenda. Now, I do admit I do see myself having children in my late twenties to early thirties, which I always felt was good. I was never one of those females, I grew up with, having children in their late teens to early twenties. I felt I want to enjoy my life but don't get me, I don't see children as burdens. I just want to have a foundation so when I do decide to have them, I can give them a nurturing nature. My parents waited till their early thirties to start a family. Then, some couples find out that one of them is unable to have children and that something couples need to discuss also. Let's face it, some of us don't even know if we have the ability to conceive a life. That's something couples need to find out before getting married and there are specialists who can detect fertility. There have been incidences where one spouse finds out the other cannot conceive and wants out of the marriage. All due to the fact, the other spouse is infertile. The vows clearly stated that no matter what, you stay with your spouse and work through this situation.

Marriage is a serious matter and folks need to take the time out to think about what goes into a marriage. It's a partnership not a 40/60 partnership and it's also about communication. So look before you leap!

Have you got the feeling folks see as easy because you were just being kind but then made it a habit to keep seeing your kindness as weakness. They just feel you are so easy and they keep telling you excuses that could be or could not be true. I am basically venting right now and I am so tired of being the understanding person when it comes to someone else's needs. Of course, When it comes time for me, I can't have my way because I am the understanding individual who does not care. Wonder if I had an important appointment but I can't get anyone to cover for me. I am just tired of being the person who is not suppose to say anything and just take it as is.

Another thing that irritates me to Hades, when I specifically ask you what your intended is please do that task don't go to another task thinking it was included. See, with my job, I usually pin point what is the intended task and I don't budge unless I feel like it or I just feel generous. I just don't hold my tongue anymore regardless White, Black, Brown or whatever color you may be. When I am gone, do you thinnk these machines will give you freebies just because you paid. Hell no, you need a credit card and so what the prices are ridiculous to you but this is a business. If you were running a business, you would stand your ground especially if your livelihood depended on it. I am constantly being told how expensive it is but in the area I work and live in is basically bourgie so if you are expected to pay. Each hospitality provider is different so one hotel may not charge for internet access whereas another hotel may charge you for internet access. Each hotel is different and I swear folks just aren't hearing me or they want me to slip and say something I will later regret. But, like I said, these machines will not give you a charge just for printing, you are going to get hit with the minimum plus the printing fee. Man, what type of world we live in where folks think since they pay $400 to $900 a night and they assume they will get free everything? When you order room service, you are going to get charged for the food and the service, so where is the free in that?

I do feel better getting this off of my dome and of course when you are the full time person(Me) and your part time relief keep calling out, which mean you have stay even when guests are plucking your nerves to the point of strangling their necks. I just wish folks would just stop and just drag your ass on into work. I have went to all jobs I ever had sick, tired, hurt or just plain fed-up but I went to work.  I was taught use your personal days for something important or just to use when you know you have to use them up by the end of the year. I do have a lot of days that are unused. I guess I believe in when it's time to move on, I can move on without a bad thing to say about me since I always come to work and very, very seldom have I ever called out. Well, I am sure I am not alone in this way of thinking.

I know when folks hear the word, Locks or Dreadlocks, they think of a ganja-smoking-reggae-list ening-Jamaican immigrant who is alway in the street screaming "Irie". But I am an African American female who has locks and been cultivating them for five and a half years. I was ,at first, like other Blacks when the subject of Dreadlocks popped up, I would screw my face up and think how dirty those things can be. Also, the big question, "Can locks be unlock?" and of course the answer is no. Then, I soon discovered some folks had these locks that were neat and presentable. Soon, I wanted to start locks and I am glad I did. Locks, to me, are beautiful. I hate when folks come up to me and are shock to see that my lock are well-kept. I had a lady tell me once, "Your locks look clean and neat. I saw a guy with locks but his weren't nice like yours." I thought that was real grimy to start comparing locks against one another. We don't need a hair game with locks now! I don't want to be shot because my locks look better than another person's locks! Now, in the Black community, it's getting accepted but there are those die hard  Anti-Nappy brigades who feel Blacks should remain hostages to the relaxers and hot combs. Yeah, I have tried to make my hair look naturally straight when I knew it was chemically treated. I got tired of trying to look like my hair was straight or manageable. I love my locks and everytime I wash and twist my locks, they get longer. I just wish Black folks would stop putting their hair through chemical torture.

You also must be open to patience because with Locks it will be tested. I don't look back on my decision and yes I still get folks who asks when am I going to cut my locks out? I tell them it's my hair and I want it as long as it can get. I get more complements with my locks then I did when I was relaxing my hair. Yeah, you do get guys who feels women shouldn't get locks but my man loves mines. So, any person who feels locks are nasty they haven't met or are open to a person who takes pride in their hair. Everyone with Locks has his own pride about his crown. In fact, I do get mix feelings from both Black and White. I get looks of admiration and then I get dirty looks like something stink. I just take it with the good and the bad because it's hair but most of all it's my hair!

Meeting folks back in the day used to be someone you found in the supermarket, library, bus stop, school, or the club. But nowadays, all anyone have to do is post a profile on a dating website and search based off of similiar interests such as body type or relationship status. But, I see it as "mystery dating". Sure there is the phone datelines that are always advertised around late hours but it's still the same. You have not seen the person you are corresponding to. This is also mystery dating due to the fact you do hear the person's voice but you have no clue what this person looks like. For all you know the voice might sound attractive but the face it belongs to could be the complete opposite of the voice. Also, with these web dating sites, there is the same game of even if the person posted a picture of themselves, that picture can be out of date or not the person at all. When I was single I did the phone dating lines or chat lines as well as the web dating to thanks to Blackplanet. Yeah, I went throught the usual situation when meeting different individuals. Some stayed true to their discription but others were so far from the truth, it was like I was punked by Ashton hisself. But, with all of this mystery dating you just don't know who is telling the truth and pray the person is who the profile and picture describe them to be.

Another thing that's cracks me up is the success stories of mystery dating. People are so quick to say they found their significant other through the web. But what about those individuals who encountered folks who were harmful? I do prefer to old school method better, which is just don't go looking for that special someone because the person who is right for you might just drop in your lap. That's exactly how I came to be with my significant other. I was fed up and decided to just hang with myself. Of course, when I was not even looking, I got caught by the love bug. I think mystery dating is scary, stressful, but a learning experience. You know what you like and dislike and hopefully see through a smoke screen when someone fits your preferences just too perfectly. But, the world is full of folks who will probably fit someone perfectly and it called: Patience.

This is a subject that have been thrown in the face of the Black community when someone from another race accuses us of being racist toward them. I just laugh at that term because ever since I was eight and I was called "Nigger" by some white boys, I saw it as it was racism. I feel whoever uses that term needs to shut up and stop sounding Schizophrenic. Racism is racism and anyone who wants to distinguish the direction it goes needs a reality check. When it's a White person being racist to a Black person it's racism but vice versa it's reverse racism. I feel that is the most backward distinction I have ever heard and sometimes want to get a pillow and slap the mess out of the person who came up with that term. I would  like everyone to know racism is racism no distinction needed at all. If you hate another race due to what you were taught or what you just discovered on your own, you are the root of racism. Reverse racism is the figment of a Schizophrenic imagination and someone needs to take the necessary prescription to treat it.

I am a female who, like all females, get hit on constantly even when I looked my worst. I know some females may feel me when I say that guys can be just plain shameless when it comes to pick-up lines. I am a honest female who will in a New York minute tell a brotha that I am engaged and have one guy in my eyes only to hear the common "What does he have to do with me?" or "I don't see him with you." It always seem like guys don't give you the time of time when you are Ms. Single but will knock your door when you are in a relationship. It's like they can smell the scent of another male on you. If you are attractive, they automatically feel you either won't talk to them or you have someone. I am guilty of being a "bitch" when I have to use my sharp tongue or I am just not in the mood to hear a whole lot of lines from a guy who probably told every female that same lie. I know guys may say that us females should appreciate a guy giving us some kind of compliment. But I figure some females who has low self-esteem will definitely like the attention since some type of attention is better than no attention at all. I already have a guy who I love to pieces and when guys try to talk to me I just snap into "bitch" mode to get my point across. I've learned that when you try to be nice to guys they just see that as a chance and they won't leave you alone for nothing. I've learned to give one-word answers and an attitude to match. Yeah, I know it's bad but if I tell guys that I am not interested they feel I am playing hard to get but I am not. I just think some guys are shameless in the way they try to get a female's attention. My advice to guys, be yourself and stop trying to be a thug or bad boy. I know some females may say they like a bad boy but don't be fooled by what females say they are looking for in a guy. I am going to admit most females do not know what type of guy they want or like. So guys don't be shameless just be natural and yourself, you will be surprised!

I know when I am seen in the streets, I am seen as a Rastafarian or a Black female with her hair in the most natural form. I have had guys come up to me and ask me if I smoke the ganja or as me if I am from Jamaica. I am seen as a stereotype. We have went through a situation or two where your appearance cause folks to steer clear of you or treat you like you done something wrong. I had folks accuse me of being dirty due the fact of my hair but I wash my hair as often as I can since folks assume locs are dirty. I understand if they met someone who had locs and did not exhibit a well kept personal hygiene but I am not that individual. I know when I am in society, people regardless Black or White sees me as a person who has her hair in dreadlocs. Another thing that usually burns me up is folks assume I smoke weed. I have never place that stinky mess on my lips. I like my hair and clothes to smell good. Another thing that burns me up about stereotype is individuals will blatantly say things like, "I hope you don't sell drugs!" or "How often do you wash your hair?". I calmly inform the person that I have met folks with no locs and their hair smell worse than anything I could imagine. Also, I tell them I am not a Jamaican drug hustler and that is just a stereo. Yes, I listen to reggae, old school r&b, and neo-soul musician. But as far as me smelling and doing illegal drug activity, I am not the one and soe individuals need to speak with a indidvidual before believing a stereotype. This don't goes for me, this goes for anyone who have been prejudge based off of a stereotype. I understand when it's other people of other ethnicities but when it comes to my own people, it makes me annoyed and angry. So a stereotype is basically what society has classified as the example of each ethnic group. Well, I don't mean to  burst society's bubble but there are some individuals like myself who are not stereotypes at all. I feel like this talk to that person and you might just be surprised by what you receive.

Have you saw something in someone and just couldn't put your finger on it but you knew it had to be something special? There is just something about that person's aura that you just can't enough of. We all have been there and  it only comes once in awhile. That individual has that undescribable essence that draws you in and keep you coming to get high of their being alone. You find yourself wondering how did this person came to be and when are you two going to meet again. I have been there and I am still there. I have found myself smiling just at the thought of that individual. No matter what they do or how they do something you find yourself  mesmerized by them alone.  You are so straining to give this feeling a name and wondering is there really such a word to describe it. Finally, beautiful is what it is, just plain beautiful. The glow that shines from within and you love it and the person who possess it. It refreshes you and if most of you have ever met a person like that you should really tell them how beautiful they are.

What does truth mean to you? Truth can be a hypothesis proven through reasoning or logic that  is commonly recognized. I feel truth is something that shows clearly regardless the argument or reasoning. Most folks hate to hear the truth about their being. I mean we all feel that way, you hear how others view you and you feel that's a lie. But deep inside you questioned it and you start to see maybe it's true. Truth is basically the justice that out shine a bold faced lie that was sliding along from one tongue to another. I see the truth every time I hear  someone talking about an individual in the most grotesque details like a horror movie. I know the individual who is being lie upon and I know it's unworthy of the person true self. We all have been there at one time of our lives. You hear something a ignorant individual feel is the truth but you brush it  off as their version of the truth but not yours. Sometimes the truth can hurt or destroy a lie that an individual wanted to be true to in order to  keep the peace. Truth has so many meanings to the beings of this Earth. Truth is the light that  will set us all free.

What is your definition of a hater? I know what hater means in Hip-Hop terms but to me it's really simple but complex. Haters are usually folks who sees something they want that you have but can't get due to circumstance. Haters are basically jealous individual who prefers to jock you for doing what you do best. We all have haters and they all have their reasons for being haters. I think that  it is a waste of energy to be jealous of something that is one's own. Haters are basically insecure people who feels in order to lift themselves up they rip at something they wish they could possess. It goes beyond the latest gear and the latest style it's just plain jealousy. They are jealous that a gift you may possess they wish they could have just a little bit. We are all guilty of being haters in some shape or form. We may hate an individual for being creative or just being unique. We might suck our teeth and demean that individual for just being naturally themselves. Usually these individuals who are hated upon just ignore the haters. I always had haters externally and internally, especially in my own race. I had females envy my height, golden brown almost yellow complexion, long locs and overall my appearence to jealous of the attention most guys give when I walk by. But it's not a female trait it's an overall everybody's trait. Haterism is, in Layman's terms, jealousy to point of ripping into someone's self worth, so jealous to the point of scrutinzing every detail of that person's worth. Why give someone a hard time for being one's own person? I feel it's self hatred and what all haters need is to be comfortable and secure with themselves

Love is something you can be taught as a child due to your up-bringing or you discover it through watching others. Love means different things to folks these days. Love is, to some folks,  money because if they have a whole lot of the green stuff they can attract people who wouldn't really give them the time of day. Love is, to other folks,  actions of that particular  person who gave them some type of attention and the attention does not have to be good but it's better than nothing. See, to me love has different meaning to everyone in this world. I was told a long time ago that if someone loves you they would put you first before seeing about themselves. That individual just stands out from any other person who ever encounter you. I see love as loving that individual regardless his or her shortcomings. I know alot folk may have or still are coming up with their own philosophies of love but it's not a science. Another things about love, yes it involves the occasional disagreement. You start to see that the individual has his or her own opinions but you soon accept them because it's different from yours. I do have a significant other and he gets on my nerves but  I love him.  Another thing attraction is a factor but not always. You can love someone just because they possess something other folks can't or don't exhibit. Love is strange but wonderful too!  One minute you are fuming about the day you had and the next  minute your love comes in and say something to make you forget about that day's craziness. Love is also support because when you are unsure of a decision that individual comes and convinces you  that you are doing the right thing. But the love that matters most has to be the love of oneself! Love yourself before you can ever love another being. When that particular being sees you they know you are secure.